


Don't Piss on Tony's Tech

by BleedxLikexMe



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alien Pets, Gen, Little Puffy Alien Balls of Fluff, No swear words, Not Housetrained, Prompt Fic, Seriously tho, Whaaaat?, look at me! I'm maturing!, this is more than a little ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-29
Updated: 2012-06-29
Packaged: 2017-11-08 20:24:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/447172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleedxLikexMe/pseuds/BleedxLikexMe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt Fic: Tony adopts an alien race and they aren’t housetrained.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Piss on Tony's Tech

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scifigrl47](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scifigrl47/gifts).



Prompt: Tony adopts an alien race and they aren’t housetrained.

Issued by: scifigrl47

Issue Date: June, 26, 2012

A/N: I should probably apologize for the ridiculousness of this, but I just can’t find it in myself for that. So no, I won’t apologize. This is what you get for letting me near fanfiction and my computer. Is that understood?

Dislaimer: I don’t own The Avengers, I don’t make a profit from this fic, I am just a lonely internet nerd with a fetish for ridiculousness.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“No! No, no, no!” Tony shouted, crouching low as he shooed away the little neon puffballs away from his brand new mink carpet. Said neon puff balls squeaked at him, sounding very much like a chew toy for dogs, as they hobbled away from Tony. Tony scowled at them but had to suddenly fight back a smile when the red and gold one pounced on the red, white, and blue one, making the red, white, and blue one squawk and topple over.

“Hey!” Steve shouted, scooping up the red, white, and blue puff ball, “Tony, keep Iron Belline off of Captain Puff!” Steve cradled his to his chest, stroking the two pound puff and stalked off.

“He just can’t help it, Cap!” Tony called after Steve, “The red, white, and blue just gets him all hot and bothered!” Tony cackled when he saw the back of Steve’s neck go red and his ears tinge pink. Steve scurried off and Tony cackled some more. He could hear his red and gold Belline purring by his feet. With an amused snort, he bent and plucked it off the floor and stared at it. It sat innocently in his palm, staring back at him with two quarter sized eyes.

Tony couldn’t help but compare them to the fluffy part of the truffle-a trees from The Lorax. Their body was about as big as your index finger and middle finger curled into a mini fist, their eyes were disproportionate to their body, but apparently they were mostly blind and were adapting to Stark Tower, hence the eyes, and their fluff was the rest of their body and that puffed out to the edge. Thor’s Belline, a lovely gold color, had the longest puffy fluff. Figures, huh?

As Tony was analyzing his Belline, Bruce walked by, his green and purple Belline peering out of his shirt pocket. It was squeaking at him, wriggling excitedly in his pocket. Bruce grunted and nodded occasionally and just kept walking by. Tony frowned at him as he disappeared down the hall. Bruce had, somehow, figured out what the Belline were saying, even before Thor did. It was odd.

A faint sneeze could be heard from the air ducts and Tony smirked, “BellEye still has that cold, huh?” He called up to the air vents, snickering when Clint’s face peered out, scowling at him.

 

“It’s your own damn fault, Tony. Shouldn’t’a left the friggin’ window open. Gave my friggin’ BellEye a damn cold.” Clint crawled away, still muttering to himself, “WE DON’T GET COLDS, TONY.” Clint shouted, sounding just a bit manic. Figures he’d be the mother hen about all of this. Clint was the first one to name his Belline, the other’s soon followed suit.

Tony’s was named Iron Belline, Cap’s was Captain Puff, Clint’s was BellEye, Thor’s was Tuft God of Tufts, Natasha had named her Tari, which was somehow a nickname for Tarantula, and Bruce had named his Jose. Well, actually, Jose had picked his own name and Bruce just went with it. Bruce was used to that, after all, Hulk had named himself too.

The Belline, an obviously alien species, were pets to other life forms on other planets. Thor had wanted one when he was a child but his father hadn’t allowed it since Loki had ‘accidentally’ killed his. Yeah, sure. Accidentally. Anyway, since the Belline were pets, they had to be fed, cleaned up after, bathed, and so on. It was laborious to have a pet and Tony was actually glad his dad hadn’t let him have a pet when he was a kid. The poor thing would have died under his care.

Tony patted Iron Belline and set him down once more as ideas for upgrades to his suit came to mind. Tony headed towards his lab and began to work right away. It was less than twenty minutes later when Iron Belline made a chirp sound. Tony’s head snapped up and his face paled when he saw what Iron Belline was about to do all over his tech.

“NO IRON BELLINE NOT HERE!” Tony shouted and dove over his desk to grab the little puff. Iron Belline screeched and dashed away, screaming the whole way out of Tony’s lab, up the stairs, and into the main TV area. The other Avengers were up there as well, watching some trashy TV show that Tuft had obviously picked out. None of the other Belline’s liked Jersey Shore.

Iron Belline’s screaming alerted the other Belline’s and they leapt off of their owners’ laps (or heads and shoulders) to swarm around Iron Belline and protect him. Thor stood, pouting that Tuft had left him, “What is the meaning of this, Man of Iron? Why do you chase your little Belline so?”

“He was gonna piss on my tech!” Tony shouted, “He still has to pee!” Tony gestured wildly at the group of alien pets that were glaring at him. 

"I thought you had him house trained, Tony." Steve sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

Tony turned his scowl on Steve now, "Oh, excuse me, who's been making constant upgrades to your Stark Spangled Suit? Hmm? Oh, yeah, that'd be me. I don't have time to potty train Iron Belline."

"You shouldn't have a pet if you're not going to take care of him, Tony." Bruce said gently as he scooped up Jose. Jose wriggled and jumped out of his grip, chirping angrily at Bruce before turning to the others. Bruce's eyes widened, "Don't you do it." Bruce glared, wagging a finger at Jose. Jose glared mutinously and raised a leg slowly, "Don't you do it, Jose." Jose cocked his head a little, "Jose!" Bruce gasped as the Belline began peeing on the Persian rug. This seemed to set the others off, because seconds later, they were all peeing on Tony's rug.

Said genius scientist fumed and wheezed out a verbal keyboard smash before dropping to his knees and whimpering. Steve sighed and shook his head. It figured. The Avengers could take on an entire alien race bent on destroying the world, but they got out witted by a pet alien race. At that moment, with Tony fritzing out on the floor, Bruce trying to talk Jose out of being a bad pet, and Clint cackling like a loon in the air ducts, Agent Coulson walked through the elevator doors with a large pet carrier in his grip. He paused for a second just inside the room, sighed, and set the pet carrier on the floor. He whistled sharply once, opened the cage, and watched as the Belline tottered into the cage, "I'll be expecting a full written report by Monday." He said before leaving.

The elevator dinged, the room was silent, and then Clint said, "Hey, who do you pay to clean your carpets stained with alien pee, Tony?"

Tony made another worrying sound, as if his hard drive had malfunctioned, and curled himself into a fetal position on the floor.

Clint cackled again.


End file.
